Welcome back to The Monthly Reset — a short monthly note on purpose, planning and the small shifts that help life feel a little more intentional.

Each month, I share a few things I’m focused on: what I’m thinking about, what I’m trying, what I’m reading or learning from, and how I’m using my own planner to stay grounded.

What I’m noticing

Lately, I’ve been noticing how hard it can be to be kind to yourself.

It sounds simple enough. Be patient. Be forgiving. Don’t speak to yourself in a way you wouldn’t speak to someone you love.

But in practice, it’s much harder.

Many of us are quick to push, judge, compare and criticise. We notice what we didn’t finish. What we could have done better. Where we fell short. And while ambition can be useful, constant self-criticism rarely helps us become the person we want to be.

This month, I’m trying to pay more attention to the difference between holding myself accountable and being unnecessarily hard on myself.

There is a difference.

One helps you grow. The other slowly wears you down.

A question I’m sitting with

What are my natural strengths — and how can I lean into them more deliberately?

I like this question because it shifts the focus away from constantly fixing what feels broken.

Of course, we all have areas to improve. But sometimes the better path is not to force ourselves into a completely different shape. Sometimes it is to understand what already comes naturally, and then build around it.

What energizes me?
Where do I tend to create value without overthinking?
What do people often come to me for?
What feels lighter for me than it seems to feel for others?

Those answers usually contain clues.

One thing I’m prioritizing

This month, I’m prioritizing nutrition.

Not in a complicated, obsessive, “everything must be perfect” kind of way. More as a foundation.

I’m trying to remind myself that how I eat affects far more than my body. It affects my energy, patience, focus, mood and ability to show up well for the people and work that matter to me.

So the focus is simple: more protein, more whole food, more consistency, fewer mindless choices made when I’m tired or rushed.

Nothing dramatic. Just better defaults.

A small habit I’m testing

I’m testing a simple weekly food reset.

Once a week, I’m writing down three things:

1. What meals helped me feel good last week?

2. Where did I make choices from stress or convenience?

3. What is one simple thing I can prepare in advance this week?
   
   

The aim is not to create a perfect meal plan. It’s to remove a little friction.

Because when life gets busy, we rarely rise to our best intentions. We fall back on what is easiest.

So I’m trying to make the better choice easier.

What I’m reading / listening to

This month, I’m reading How to Love by Thich Nhat Hanh.

It’s a small book, but not a light one. The ideas are simple on the surface, yet they ask a lot of us in practice: to slow down, to listen properly, to be present, and to understand that love is not just a feeling, but a way of paying attention.

What has stayed with me most is the reminder that kindness is not something we only offer outwardly. It also has to include ourselves.

That can feel uncomfortable. Many of us are much better at being patient with other people than we are with our own mistakes, moods and unfinished progress.

But the book is a gentle reminder that self-kindness is not indulgence. It is part of the foundation for how we show up in the world.

If we are constantly at war with ourselves, it becomes much harder to bring calm, patience and generosity to anyone else.

How I’m using my planner

This month, I’m using my planner to track energy rather than just tasks.

At the end of each day, I’m making a quick note of:

• What gave me energy?

• What drained me?

• What helped me feel more like myself?

• What do I want to repeat tomorrow?
  
  

It’s a small shift, but it changes the way I look at the week.

Instead of only asking, “Did I get everything done?” I’m also asking, “What is this routine doing to me?”

That feels important.

Because a productive life that leaves you depleted is not really the goal.

Try this before next month

Take 10 minutes and write down three natural strengths you already have.

Not the strengths you think sound impressive. The real ones.

Maybe you’re good at encouraging people. Maybe you can simplify complexity. Maybe you notice details others miss. Maybe you bring calm to tense situations. Maybe you’re consistent, curious, creative, resilient or good at getting things started.

Then ask yourself:

How could I use one of these strengths more intentionally this month?

Sometimes growth is not about becoming someone else.

Sometimes it is about becoming more honest about who you already are.

Words I’m carrying

“Be careful how you speak to yourself. You are always listening.”

A small reminder. A useful one.

See you next month,

Irfan
Founder, Roterunner